October 23, 2014 – Jorge Ramos, of Hanis Irvine Prothero and President of South King County Bar Association, arranged for four local Judges to attend a luncheon at the Kent Commons. The event allowed 25 attorneys to hear invaluable advice from the very people they present their cases to. It is the first of many events Jorge Ramos plans to put on to invigorate the local bar association.
Parents: Take the High Road – No More Badmouthing Your Ex
Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW, has published a great article on the importance of not badmouthing your ex. Yes, maybe he is a jerk. I know, she makes Cruella de Ville look sweet. But if you have children together, they will suffer from your badmouthing ways.
So how do you resist the temptation to hurl the insults? How do you refuse to take the bait that your ex dangles tantalizingly in front of you? Zip your lips! That’s right, just like the old fashioned adage “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Use these tips to help you keep your lips firmly zipped.
Your children are ½ your ex: when you insult your ex, you’re insulting your children.
You once loved this person: it may seem incredulous, but there was a time when you actually wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person.
Redirect your emotions: Change the trajectory of your frustrated feelings and start focusing on what is going right in your life. Make a list of things for which you are grateful, including the smallest details of abundance (your health, family, friends, etc.). Gratitude always feels better than anger.
Badmouthing ultimately hurts you: Remember that lowering yourself to the level of a school yard bully is no way to go through life. The anger activates your body’s stress response and wears you down. Being unkind, nasty, and spiteful has a way of backfiring. It’s like holding a hot coal, ready to fling it at your enemy, only to discover that you’re burning your own hand.
If your ex is badmouthing you, then they are suffering: If you’re on the receiving end of being badmouthed, just know that your ex is most likely not functioning at their best. Even if you can’t wish them some compassion, you can at least stop the spiral of negativity by refusing to play dirty.
Difficult circumstances can be your teacher: Love yourself and your children enough to stay out of the fighting ring.
If you do resort to badmouthing, you can stop: If you find yourself slipping with an insult, say the words “Cancel that” and try again.
Ultimately, taking the high road is not always easy but you and your children will benefit in the end.
Lisa Martin is a Family Law Paralegal at the law firm of Hanis Irvine Prothero, PLLC. If you have questions regarding a family law matter, she can be reached at (253) 520-5000 or by email at lmartin@hiplawfirm.com.
September 2, 2014 – A common mistake made by individuals and even attorneys is relying on the separate v. community character of property. The source of marital assets has become far less important in Washington than is largely believed.
Generally, community property is everything that either of you earned or acquired during your marriage unless you agree otherwise. For example, money you earned at work, put in a joint checking account, and used to pay household bills is marital property. The car you bought and made payments on with money from that account is also community property. On the other hand, separate property is everything a husband and wife own separately. In most cases, separate property includes anything owned prior to marriage, inherited or received as a gift during the marriage or anything either spouse earned after the date of separation
You may have heard this statement before: “Separate property does not need to be divided between the spouses”. This is a very dangerous assumption. It is no longer necessary to establish exceptional circumstances, as held in earlier court decisions, to award separate property of one spouse to the other spouse. For example, in Larson v. Calhoun, 178 Win App. 133 (2013), the court invaded the separate property of the husband even after awarding the entire community estate to the wife. This case has caused a stir in the family law field and is currently under consideration by the Washington State Supreme Court.
Characterization of property can be very complex. If you are faced with this issue and would like more information on safe-guarding your separate property, I recommend that you consult with an experienced family law attorney to determine the best course of action.
Jorge Ramos is a family law attorney with the Kent law firm of Hanis Irvine Prothero, PLLC. He can be reached at (253) 520-5000 or by email at jramos@hiplawfirm.com.
February 7, 2014 – HIP’s Family Law attorney Jorge Ramos will be volunteering on the first Wednesday of every month at the local St. Vincent de Paul’s Centro Rendu. Jorge welcomes the privilege to provide free legal consultations for individuals who face financial or language barriers. Jorge joins HIP’s immigration department as volunteers at the Centro Rendu.
HIP Law firm was represented at the Super Bowl by their Family Law attorney Jorge Ramos. He made sure the 12th man was as loud as ever as the Seahawks trounced their way to a 43-8 victory in the Super Bowl.
Go Hawks!